Hey, Russia "let me hold that square" (A non-violent solution to Ukraine)

 

Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your hats because the United States has a new strategy to "BUM" Russia into capitulation! And no, we don't mean bumming them out; we mean sending good old-fashioned bums to do the job.

Before we dive into this brilliant new plan, let's take a quick stroll down memory lane and talk about the history of hobos and tramps in the US. After the Civil War, many Americans found themselves without homes or jobs, leading to the rise of the hobo and tramp culture. These wanderers travelled across the country via train, often hopping on board without a ticket and surviving on odd jobs, handouts, and the occasional theft.

By the 1960s, the hobo and tramp lifestyle had largely disappeared, but it set the pace for our current bums and homeless population. These days, we see them begging for change on street corners and sleeping in parks or under bridges.

So, what does this do with our strategy to take down Russia? Well, hold on a minute because things get really interesting here.

The plan is simple yet brilliant. We gather all our bums from all over the country and parachute them into Moscow. Within five days, there will be no money, no food, and everything not tied down will be gone. The Russian army will be forced to withdraw from Ukraine just to stop the bumming by American bums!

But wait, it gets even better. Our secret weapon has been in the making since the dropout culture of Roanoke Colony. We have been training our bums to be the ultimate survivalists, capable of living off the land and adapting to any situation. They are the perfect soldiers for this kind of mission.

And just think of the benefits! Our homeless population gets a free trip to Moscow, and Russia gets a taste of what it's like to have a severe bum problem. Plus, it's a nonviolent solution to a potentially violent problem.

So there you have it, folks. The United States' new strategy to "BUM" Russia into capitulation. It's bold, it's daring, and it might work. Who knew the answer to the geopolitical conflict could be found in yesteryear's hobo and tramp culture?